My husband’s emotional affair began back in 2019, and became fully sexual, I believe, in mid 2022. Discovery was at the end of 2022. Since then my husband told me it’s over but he and the affair partner have been unable, or unwilling, I’m unsure which, to break off the emotional entanglement. We are now separated, but occasionally do couple’s counselling to try and heal our relationship, and have started EMS Online. Since D-Day Two, 1/2 years ago, I’ve often hoped we were getting somewhere, but my senses told me otherwise, as I constantly felt unsafe. Every few months I’d check his phone and discover he and the affair partner were doing video calls, sometimes every few weeks, even though he said they were not in touch, and then he admitted to having phone sex with her 3 months ago. I was totally devastated, and once again I felt like an utter fool. Unfortunately, my husband, the affair partner and I, all have to work together, which is incredibly difficult. She makes him and everyone else laugh all the time, is often the centre of attention, and shows me little or no contrition, and having to witness their spark is truly awful. The affair partner would apparently like to be with him, and he finds it difficult to disengage from her. Now sadly, I’ve begun to hate her, because she threatens our relationship constantly. It’s so out of character and deeply hurts my soul to feel this about another person, but I cant seem to shift it no matter how I try. My husband says it makes him want to run from me, which hurts a lot, but I get it, as it’s a horrid thing and I feel ashamed, but I feel trapped in this situation and don't know how to deal with it. So my question is, even though I've been made so unsafe, and I am deeply threatened by her, how do I stop hating her?