Q&A How Do We Navigate My Sister Being the Affair Partner?

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My husband has been diagnosed with love addiction. He has had emotional affairs with over a dozen women in our 20 years of marriage. These involved sexual fantasies and romantic feelings for these women without their knowledge. The longest standing affair involved my sister who is 12 years younger than me and single. It lasted for 5 years up until our d-day last year and he fantasized about being married to her, felt love toward her beyond brotherly affection, and assessed whether she would be a good mother to our children. He continues to experience intrusive thoughts of her a few times a day, though these have been diagnosed as OCD related. He says he no longer feels these romantic feelings for her. Our family has regular interactions with her because she is part of our church and we celebrate many occasions together throughout the year. He is trying to limit his interactions with her during these gatherings. Is there a possibility that he can one day see her only as one of his own sisters, and like family, given the history he has with her? If so, what would this process look like? If not, what does it look like for me as the betrayed to accept this situation as a reality that I will need to live with indefinitely given that she is my one and only sister whom I am close with and my children are close with?



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