Q&A How Do We Recover When There Was a Sexual Assault?

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Question: 

I am the “unfaithful partner”. I was sexually assaulted 10 months ago. In the beginning I was taking it on as “I cheated” because of how hurt my partner was. But recently, through my therapist and local victims of sexual support group, I have understood that as a result of past abuse, sexual assault, and rape I have developed a shame-based personality, where I take on the blame for almost everything, even if I didn’t do anything wrong. We are in EMS Online, but I am having trouble with finding anything about the unfaithful’s trauma. How do I continue healing our relationship if it was a sexual assault and we’ve been referring to it as “cheating;” where I went out with friends for drinks and ended up in the bartenders bed not able to remember anything?

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