Your blogs are our sanity. Our marriage reached crisis point about a year ago when I felt a growing distance with my husband. We couldn't get along for anything. He was a different, very angry person. Angry at me, angry at God, the kids, job, you name it. I felt the end of our marriage was at hand. I suspected an affair, but didnt have all the proof and he was denying it. After trying a new church service, he began to tearfully talk about his sexual abuse by a sexoffender boyfriend that lived with his mother and sister. The abuse last for three years, age 12-15 and involved forced oral and analysis sex, several times a week. About ten days into this revelation, I received a phone call confirming his affair. Boom. Now what. We set up counseling for him first because of the childhood sexual trauma, so we are just now dealing with the affair, about seven months out. He feels the reason he cheated was he was acting as a different person during recent months when memories of abuse were suddenly and strongly coming back and he didn't know why. He thought he had put them away and nobody would ever know. I understand this concept, but still would like to make sure there were other underlying problems in our relationship that need to be sorted out. I hope this retreat will be offered again in the future because we had just signed up for an Allies in Healing weekend with Mike Lee a few weeks after this one and we can't do both right now. Any specific suggestions on couples going through affair/childhood sexual trauma situations?