As the betrayed husband I was hurt by my mother-in-law encouraging the affair when my wife came to her for advice prior to the affair. Eight months post discovery, she has not apologized for her behavior and worst yet she tries to undermine our recover by suggesting that if I don’t stop asking questions about the affair my wife should leave. She is making our struggles all about how it is affecting her. Trying to appease her is taking away from our own recovery. How can we protect our relationship from her influence while attempting to maintain a familial relationship with her? My wife feels guilty if she doesn’t spend time with her mother but comes away from those visits angry, drained, and depressed. If we call her out on her behavior, she denies any responsibility and indulges in self pity.