Q&A Is This Level of Detail Healthy for Recovery?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.

Question: 

I have been married 40 years and seven weeks ago I found out my husband has been having a two year act-out of strip clubs and prostitutes. I have an overwhelming desire to drive by the hotels and go to the restaurants and strip clubs that he attended. I feel the need to know every detail no matter how painful. I feel I need this to get to ground zero and begin healing. Do you think it will be helpful?

Sections: 

RL_Category: 

RL_Media Type: 

We were going through divorce then I found out about the affair

My husband and I were going through the painful process of divorce because no matter how much I tried to improve our relationship, he didn’t seem to reciprocate. And he ended up telling me that although he loves me, he basically is not in love with me anymore. As if this news wasn’t painful enough for me to deal with, about a week later he told me that he had a relationship with our good friend and downstairs neighbor (we live in an apartment). My daughter and the woman’s daughter are best friends and the woman’s husband is very good friends with my husband. It has been a whirlwind of emotions for me to try to get my head around this. So... how do I deal?? I also have MS and can no longer work (I’m only 41) because my disability causes my brain to function very slowly and I forget things and also I have a myriad of physical difficulties that would interfere with most jobs. Anyway, it’s been about a week since I found out, and although at first I seemed to be getting stronger, now I seem to be getting weaker again and am unsure about how I will be able to take care of the kids by myself. I never asked for this to happen to me.