Q&A Is Looking at Porn as Damaging as Having an Affair?

I had an emotional and physical affair and my husband used porn our whole marriage (15 years) while both are very different betrayals I find it hard to find space for my emotions and safety because this whole past year has been focused on my affair and all that comes with it. How he responds with anger or how I’m spoken to seems to be validated because of what I did but what he did isn’t seen as comparable because he didn’t think he was doing anything wrong. I don’t want to build resentment but I feel I’m starting to because I feel despite all my efforts everything I do is wrong and not enough, the workshop only validates him but I don’t feel he’s looking inward at all. Please help us find space for each other.