Q&A Is My Husband Minimizing His Highly Sexual Affair?

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Question: 

I am 6 months past D-Day of my husband’s second affair. The first affair he lied to me about and refused help. The affair partner approached my husband and she offered him a sexual affair. It was highly fantasized with sexting, photos, videos, phone sex. He would be in contact with her during work while traveling, during the evenings, at home for hours while I slept, during golf and any alone time he had. I know that not all of their conversations were about sex because I saw it, such as photos from his traveling. My husband says “I didn’t like her, I didn’t respect her, I didn’t have any feelings for her, nor was I attracted to her. It was just sex. I would tell her what she wanted to hear so that she would respond to me in a way that made me feel better about myself. I was angry, resentful and frustrated that you couldn’t get over my first affair”. I feel like he is minimizing the affair and his feelings which feels like more deceit. I do not understand how someone could be every day in contact with another woman for 2 ½ months, referring to her as sweetheart, my beautiful woman, telling her how much he misses her, sharing his day and travels, constantly sexually fantasizing about her and not even like her. I don’t understand this. Is he minimizing his affair?

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