Q&A Is This a Normal Part of Recovery?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


My husband and I are 16 months past D-Day 1. We have been together 10 years, married for 3, and had our first child during this mess, she just turned 1. He is a sex addict acting out over an 8 year period with countless women off swinging websites which ultimately resulted in a full blown affair. The affair lasted 1 year and continued on and off for another year after D-Day. We have completed EMS Online, Harboring Hope, and Hope for Healing. We are 20 weeks into Married 4 Life and my husband has been 4 months sober in SAA. He has also had zero contact with his AP for the last 4 months. This is the longest period of time he has gone without acting out or having contact with her. I've felt that we are in a really good place. We have made leaps and bounds in our re-connection and communication. My husband is fully committed to healing himself and repairing our marriage. He has convinced me his affair was really just fulfilling his sexual addiction, although it was also emotional. He says he doesn't battle with lingering emotional feelings for his AP, just sexual intrusive thoughts. Now all of the sudden he has had some kind of epiphany and claims he hasn't been able to process his true feelings for the AP due to the strong hold his sex addiction has had on him. He is talking crazy like he wants to leave me to be with her. He says his emotional feelings for her are more intense than ever and he believes they have a strong bond that he can't seem to let go of. He also denies what he is feeling is limerence. Is this a normal part of recovery or has he completely lost it? I can't deal with MORE ambivalence and potentially ANOTHER relapse! We have been at this for too long to be back here again!



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas