Q&A Should the Wayward Wife Be Rewarded by Taking My Choice Away from Me Many Years Ago?

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Question: 

We are dealing with a situation that we don’t see addressed enough or at all. We have been (happily, I thought) married for 31 years. D-day occurred over 3 months ago when I asked my wife if she has been faithful and she said no - she had a one-night stand in 2001 and she was sorry and it was just that. Over the next few weeks the truth trickled out that it was at least 2 affairs over 2-5 years. If you had asked either of us at any time in our marriage, we would have been at worst a 9 of 10. We had no real money concerns, a strong faith, large supportive families, good jobs, seemingly love and support all around. Truthfully almost all who knew us would say we had a model marriage. Somehow, and we don’t have any real idea how or why to this point, my wife strayed a lot from 2000 to at least 2002. 18 years have passed with my wife living in deceit for all those years and never planned on telling. If caught, I would have divorced her 18 years ago. Why would 18 years of deceit and lies be any better than what would have been a break up 18-20 years ago? Should the wayward wife be rewarded by taking my choice away from me all those years ago?

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