Q&A Is There Any Chance of a Future for Us Building a New Life Together?

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Question: 

I sought out a revenge affair after my spouse had an affair. I never talked about what happened or addressed my feelings to work through anything with my spouse from her affair. I continued to communicate with other women in a sexual nature, which I initiated. This has been extremely devastating to everyone especially my spouse. I kept this a secret and didn’t want anyone to know. In June I told my spouse about what I had done, but not all at once. I gave her the trickle truth only when she asked specific questions. This made things even worse because she eventually contacted my affair partner and she her everything she wanted to know. This is all very traumatic and we are having an extremely hard time. I have, until recently, blamed her for my actions. This is completely wrong and do not blame her at all, with my history of cheating on others it was bound to happen sooner or later. We are now recently divorced, but we have started the EMS Online course and are in week 4. Things seem absolutely hopeless right now. The trauma is far too great, everything is still a mess. My D-Day was in 2018 and hers was August 2020. I haven’t found much on revenge affairs, only that it’s highly not recommended. Is there any chance of a future for us building a new life together?

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