Q&A What Behaviors Should I Realistically Expect From A Remorseful Spouse at This Stage?

My husband and I are currently in EMS Online week 5, and I'm struggling to know how to proceed. We've been married 24 years. Seventeen years ago, we lost our infant daughter to medical errors. We rebuilt our marriage, but I later learned he had affairs after her death. Over the past three years I uncovered a one-night stand, a hidden phone my 16-year-old son found, and a two-year affair. During this time, he was in counseling but admitted he had not been truthful. He says I demanded this course, but he has attended every session. My concern is that I see almost no repair outside of Tuesday nights. He doesn't initiate conversations about us, discuss the material, check in, or lead rebuilding efforts. If I don't initiate, we have very interaction. He is angry at often. He's been living out of the house for three months, although he recently moved back in because of finances. He'll attend family activities if I invite him, but he doesn't create them himself. We asked him for months to join Life360 as one step toward rebuilding trust. He agreed but still hasn't followed through and becomes angry when our teenage sons ask about it. I've retained an attorney because I no longer know what healthy waiting looks like. At what point do you conclude that someone is showing up physically but not engaging emotionally? What behaviors should I realistically expect from a remorseful spouse at this stage? Am I expecting too much too soon, or does the lack of initiative outside the course suggest he isn't yet truly moving toward repair?