Q&A What Things Do the Betrayed Need to Consider When Deciding Whether or Not to Reconcile?

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My husband and I are about 6 months from D-Day. We completed EMSO, and experienced some progress. Now, he says he is done doing recovery work for himself. He still seems horribly self centered, and we fight anytime the old marriage or the affair is brought up. He does not display empathy, and is arrogant in his approach to having the recovery process all figured out. This is beyond unsafe for me. We are involved in MFL, but it feels like he has been checking the boxes in recovery. He does not bring up the affair. He does not ask me how I am doing or discuss his recovery. He gets defensive and angry whenever I emote. He does not do the things I ask him to do, such as checking in with me throughout the day, ask me on dates, etc... He will not go to IC, MC or consider H4H. I know you say to give it 18-24 months before deciding whether to reconcile in the marriage. My question is what things do the betrayed need to consider when deciding whether or not to reconcile? In your experience, what types of situations would justify making that decision before the 18-24 month period is over?



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