Q&A What's the Difference between Limerence during an Affair and Infatuation during Dating?

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My unfaithful husband describes the high that his AP gave him, tells me he lost his infatuation for me long ago and kept expecting me (he admits unfairly) to do something to bring it back. My only lens or experience to compare it to is the euphoria I felt during the infatuation phase of our relationship. It is hurtful and difficult for me to think he felt the same about her as he did me during that phase of our relationship. I think at this point he has a better understanding of what real love looks like than I do because I can’t shake the idea that “infatuation” is what you should try and generate in a relationship because that was the ideal that he wanted from me for our whole marriage. I want to understand this and understand how what he had with his AP is different from what we had at the beginning of our relationship (college sweethearts, he was my only sexual relationship) and from what we have now.



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