Q&A When My Mate Accuses Me of Being a Narcissist Are They Really Recognizing Traits Within Themselves?

My spouse relapsed again. I see now as I go through Harboring Hope that codependency has a lot to do with how we react with one another. With all the labels out there on social media, she seems to think that I am this narcissistic controlling person. I absolutely hate these labels as after what I have learned a true narcissistic person cannot change. Through therapy, I have proven that I am not a narcissist and I am a loving person. Are other betrayed spouses dealing with labels such as these? Through counseling I found that typically the one making the accusations is the one who is recognizing the behavior within themselves.