Q&A Why Does He Want to Fix the Marriage While He is With His AP?

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Question: 

Hi Rick, My husband had an 18 month affair and says it ended a year ago. I found out in June this year from seeing their texts, which didn't support the affair being over. We have been in counselling since August, when I discovered that he was still seeing the AP. Every time I ask him now if he is still seeing her, he avoids the question, and says I am avoiding the issue of our marriage. Up until yesterday he has been refusing to work on our marriage; says there isn't enough time, and I insisted he move out, which occurred a week ago. We have a six year old daughter who he says he loves more than anyone else in the world. I know through a mutual friend that he is still seeing the AP, and it appears he is in love with her (he doesn't know I know). I don't want to go back into the waiting game - I have told him to be honest, and if he wants to be with the AP, that's his choice, and just tell me so I can get on with my life, and that I am seeking legal assistance to move to divorce. Then at counselling yesterday, he says he wants to work on our marriage. Our counsellor suggested we start 'dating' and get to know each other again. He seems to want to do this, but I am unable to reconcile the fact he is still with the AP, while at the same time wants to work on our marriage. Is this common behavior, or am I dealing with some narcissistic personality, or similar? I would appreciate any advice you have.

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