Q&A Why Would He Go Back to the Same Person He Thinks Is So Nasty?

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My husband had a sexual affair 11 years ago. I found out and he ended it immediately and was remorseful and ashamed. He said he never had any feelings for her, it was just sex to feed his ego of wanting to be the main guy. We did some therapy sessions, renewed our wedding vows and moved back into our marriage. We have always been very happy and connected. I just found out recently that 4 years ago he contacted her again, 7 years after the first time, even though he promised he would never speak to her again. He wanted to extend his sympathy that her husband died and make sure he was thought of as everyone's friend. Calls and texts began, talking of things they did before. Sexting started and an exchange of pornographic photos of herself. He did not have sex with her this time. Why would he go back again after 7 years? He talked to her a few times in person and said once when leaving he grabbed her chest and then turned and waved. Why would he act this way with the same person? He says he is so ashamed that he ever made that first call again. He just wanted to make sure everyone thinks he is their friend. He feels like a terrible person and said I would not want to know that person when he acts like that. He said he never stopped loving me, never wanted to leave me and never wanted to be with her. Why would he go back to the same person he thinks is so nasty?



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