When a spouse or partner is serious about repairing the damage of their affair or addiction on their loved ones, the simple truth is, you can see it. You can feel it in their voice, you see it in their demeanor and you notice it in their overall approach to recovery work. But what are those indicating signs and where can you find them? Today Samuel shares just a few but palatable signs that the unfaithful is...
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"I just finished Hope for Healing and am proud of the changes that I already feel in myself and my...
The last thing any partner needs when trying to heal from infidelity is more wounding. The road to recovery is hard enough without any added complications and land mines to navigate. But how do you tell the difference between what is toxic and what is normal? How do you properly and compassionately understand your partner's response even though it may be harsh? Is it justified or is it just out of...
"We get what we need by walking through what we never wanted."
-Ann Voskamp
I'm not one of those guys who has it all together, but I'm sure you can relate. Sometimes, it feels like there's no way to survive the pain being generated by circumstances in our life. Betrayal is a pain like no other, but...
I was having a conversation with my Affair Recovery editor recently, and we talked about the motivation behind my decision to blog about infidelity. It can be emotionally heavy, and logistically difficult amidst work, home, and family responsibilities, particularly as I continue to devote time and energy to therapy and...
For decades betrayed partners have shared vehemently how they feel they are the ones having to console or care for their unfaithful partners after the disclosure of an affair. It's a thorn in the side of a generation of betrayed partners who feel like they are the true victims in this equation, yet they are paralyzed by an unfaithful partner who continues to make the situation more about them...
About a decade ago, my daughter decided she'd like to get hitched. There were a couple of serious contenders along the way that I'd like to tell you about.
I remember when she brought her first serious boyfriend home to meet the family. As her father, I felt it my duty to vet this young man. I wanted to know what type of metal he was made of. Was he good enough for my girl? I loaded my pickup with axes...
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During EMS Weekend, we won't shame the unfaithful spouse nor blame the betrayed spouse. What we will do is pair you with a small community of other couples and an expert therapist - all of whom have experienced infidelity firsthand - as well as provide comprehensive resources to help you kick-start your healing journey....
Last time in the studio, Samuel interviewed expert therapist and infidelity survivor, Amanda Asproni, on the defense mechanisms of the unfaithful spouses. Today they continue their interview but shift to defense mechanisms of the betrayed spouse. While the unfaithful are quick to utilize these deflections in an effort to reduce blame, shift focus and take the attention off themselves, the betrayed also utilize their own defense mechanisms. How...
For those of us who have been unfaithful, if we are honest with ourselves, we can admit we sometimes lack motivation to pursue help and do the hard work necessary after an affair. We struggle in being honest with others, our partner or spouse, and even ourselves. To avoid owning all of the blame for our affair(s) we will employ 'defense mechanisms'. These defense mechanisms not only delay our individual and relational healing, they cause more...
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