My husband’s affair was disclosed to me on a Friday, and on the following Tuesday, we were tucked into a cozy loveseat in the office of a local therapist recommended by our pastor. I was desperate for someone to tell me we could make it through this wasteland my life had become since the nuclear revelation of D-Day. The counselor asked us in a very soothing and pleasant voice why we were in his office that day. My husband informed him that we were having marital difficulties and then confessed to the therapist that he had been having an affair. This gentleman was a kind-hearted soul who clearly meant well when he proceeded to turn to me and ask me if I had forgiven my husband.
Four days had passed since my husband called me on his way to work to tell me he had met his soulmate (who was, unbeknownst to me, not me) and was leaving me for her. At the time of disclosure, I had some strong suspicions that things were...
Today Samuel shares his own experience in adjusting to life after disclosure and embracing new patterns in life.
Samuel answers a viewer's question and helps the unfaithful understand they have power to change their image in the mind of the betrayed.
Samuel answers a viewer's question on how to alter the way they see their spouse early on in recovery.
Today Samuel takes us through a crash course in forgiveness, sharing what it is, what it isn't, and what it actually means to forgive.
The day my husband’s AP showed up at our house and told me that I needed to know “what kind of man I had married” one of my first thoughts was that our marriage was over. How can a marriage survive this type of destruction? I had always said that if my husband cheated I would leave. Some things are simply unforgivable.
After screaming, crying hysterically, and begging for answers my husband moved out of our home and into hers. That was on a Saturday. On Monday I contacted a lawyer about divorce and filled out paperwork to get temporary custody of our 15 year old daughter. A judge granted my request on Tuesday. Then after eleven days of heartbreaking ups and downs my husband moved back home and we began the slow, sometimes excruciating process of recovery.
During those eleven days I “knew” that after nearly 25 years of marriage I would have to start over. My husband has always been the financial supporter of our family. For 20 years I was a...
Today Samuel shares key insight and vision into the new life he and Samantha experience but never saw as a possibility early on.
She glared at me in disbelief. “What part of I don’t want you to get me anything for Valentine’s don’t you understand?” she asked. I stood there with flowers and card in hand looking at the ground not sure what to do. I knew she had said do nothing, but after the discovery of my affair three months earlier I couldn’t stand not doing something to let her know I appreciated her staying. If I did nothing I was afraid she’d be hurt and bring up all the things I did for my affair partner on Valentine’s last year and remind me how I did nothing for her. I knew she’d take my doing nothing as a sign that I didn’t care. What could I do? I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t.
It’s a fair question. Just what do you do for Valentine’s Day after infidelity? It becomes one of the most dreaded holidays a couple can face. Does the unfaithful attempt to redeem the holiday and buy anything or do anything? Is it better...
Samuel shares insight into how recovery doesn't gain momentum upon the mountaintops but through the seemingly unremarkable, mundane days spent in the valleys below.
Today Samuel delves into the anger of the unfaithful spouse.
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