On February 26, 2010, Peggy Vaughan changed my life. Her email began with, "You may have seen these pages on my website, but if not, you might like to see that we see the issue very much alike." Peggy's book, The Monogamy Myth: A Personal Handbook for Recovering from Affairs*, was first published in 1989 and rocked the therapy world when she promoted the concept that the secrets of infidelity needed to be brought to light and processed rather than swept under the rug. Initially, that concept was strongly resisted, but as time went on, therapists begin to understand that the...
I don't know if you've ever had the pleasure of watching the movie, The Princess Bride, but it is one of my favorite movies. There is nothing better than watching a movie about "true love." The Princess Bride is a story of how Westley and Buttercup overcome adversity for the sake of "true love" in order to be united in a blissful union. In one of my favorite scenes, Westley heads off to storm the castle to rescue his beloved Buttercup. Miracle Max and his wife, Valerie, yell after him,
"Have fun storming the castle boys!"
She then turns to her husband and asks, "Do you think it will work?"
"It would take a miracle," Miracle Max replies.
And so it seems with recovery after infidelity — our...
Join Rodney and Angela for an uncut heartfelt, free-flowing finale of Season 2. In this special episode, they extend their deep gratitude to everyone who made this journey possible: the dedicated crew, the supportive audience, and last but not least, each other. Reflecting on their growth and lessons learned over the past two seasons, they revisit the core of “Songs For The Soul” found in Colossians 3:16.
“Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts”
They encourage you to use music as a pathway to experience God’s presence...
Join other betrayed mates on the path to healing with our life-changing Harboring Hope online course and start a better, brighter chapter.
Several years ago, my friend, John, told me about a man who was struggling with forgiveness.
This man's wife had taken the two youngest of their four daughters to a friend's birthday party. Halfway through the birthday party, she received a call from their two teenage daughters saying they needed to be picked up from a high-school party that was getting out of hand. Wanting to get them out of a bad situation, she grabbed the two younger girls, loaded them into the car, and hurried over to get her older girls. She didn't waste any time on the road since she knew her teen girls would be standing at the curb,...
Hello, my name is Candace.
I was scrolling through Instagram a few days ago, and I saw this quote that said, “I feel like I’m in Season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous stuff up to keep it interesting.” It made me think of a few random things that happened during my first season of recovery that were so poorly timed that it was almost funny.
The first one was sooo bad it made me feel like I might be on some Totally Hidden Video or "Punked" type show. Allow me to set the scene: When my...
Years ago, John entered my office requesting help for his dilemma: "Women are always coming on to me," he began, "and my wife is really upset about it. What can I do?"
Puzzled, I asked him to give me examples. I assured him I was better looking than him and didn't have the same problem. I said, "There must be something more going on."
John said, "Well, one woman came into my office today, kicked off her shoes, came behind my desk and began to give me a back rub."
"Really?" I replied, "Give me another example." "Well at the little league game on Saturday, I was sitting in the stands watching my son play when a woman came up and sat beside me. She gave me a great big hug and said she was counting the hours until she saw me at the game."
"Incredible," I responded, "I've been to a lot of little league games and I've never...
In 2019, I had a recurrence of cancer, so I was going through three months of radiation treatment. My wife, Steph, and I needed to run a few errands in Austin before getting back to Houston for my treatment appointment later in the day. We had plenty of time.
But when we got in the car to leave, it wouldn't start. The battery was dead. I put the car in neutral and pushed it out so I could use my tractor to jump start the car. So, I pulled my tractor up next to the car to jump it. It was a great idea except the tractor battery wasn't strong enough to...
Disclosure.
The disclosure process is usually the most painful and confusing aspect of recovering from infidelity. It can also be the biggest barrier for couples trying to get unstuck.
Get a plan for the disclosure process by joining EMS Online. This course is comprised of expert methodology honed from decades of experience exclusively in the field of infidelity to better serve couples as they address the betrayal, work through disclosure, reconnect as partners and restore their lives.
As a concept, it doesn't seem that difficult. Painful, yes, but can't it be easier? Well, yes to both. It is painful, and it can be simpler than most people make it....
In His presence there is peace, freedom, and comfort. Rodney and Angela remind us that we have the privilege and freedom to bring all of our emotions to God, including the difficult ones. He is a faithful friend, fierce warrior, and compassionate counselor, and though what we face may not seem good, He is always working for our good. His mercies endure forever.
Are you at a place where you can't seem to get away from the constant triggers and reminders of the affair? Are intrusive thoughts keeping you from sleep, work, or being able to function?
Did you know that in the early weeks following discovery, it is quite possible for the betrayed spouse to have several hundred of these a day? Will it ever get better? Will they lessen in frequency? Wayward spouses, does it seem that your mate can't do anything else but think about the affair and ask questions?
Even though I am extremely pragmatic by nature, I found myself needing many concepts simply and basically explained to me during my recovery from infidelity. Now that I am a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and a member of Affair Recovery's Emergency...
What Type of Affair Was It?
Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
