Why It Happened Again: An Unfaithful Man's Story of Real Recovery
Surviving the trauma isn't the same as truly healing what caused it — and for Jason and Dara, the distance between those two things nearly cost them everything. In this bonus episode, Jason sits down to tell their full story: what was going on internally across multiple betrayals, why the first round of help didn't create real change, and what finally broke through. They're on the other side now, and what it took to get there is something every couple in early recovery needs to hear.
What type of affair was it?
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I need to read this-not much…
I need to read this-not much privacy in my life.
Really *hate* when you AR…
Really *hate* when you AR folks use “it happened.” That is passive voice. It’s used to distance from responsibility. Cheating isn’t something that just happens; it’s a series of CHOICES people make. Please stop playing games with language that deny reality. This isn’t what language is for and AR should be about honesty, not distancing from reality. Betrayed partners don’t get ANY reprieve from reality. Why do you work so hard to give it to the unfaithful? Stop pampering them. They need to face the ugly reality—just like their betrayed partners—as part of their growth.
As a betrayed spouse myself,…
In reply to Really *hate* when you AR… by Jane54321
As a betrayed spouse myself, I completely understand your frustration. We strive to use language that offers clarity while also avoiding shaming anyone. Like our group participants and online users, our staff is comprised of both betrayed and unfaithful individuals who sought wholeness and healing. We hope to create a supportive environment that allows both parties the opportunity to receive help. Our ultimate goal is to restore those in crisis to extraordinary lives of meaning and purpose. We know there's always room for improvement and we're sorry if the language used in this episode was triggering for you. We're so glad you're here.
It is not “shaming” to say …
In reply to As a betrayed spouse myself,… by Lea_AR
It is not “shaming” to say “I did this” instead of “this happened.” One is about accepting responsibility; the other is not.
I appreciate the honesty of…
I appreciate the honesty of the interviewee. I am the betrayed and my wife the betrayer. We are 30 years out from D1 and 1 year out from D2. These podcasts are invaluable to people who are unfortunate enough to have gone through an affair. It provides a perspective and reality to the process. Many thanks for the openness of the participants in Hope Recovery.
Jan
I'm so glad the podcasts…
In reply to I appreciate the honesty of… by Eagle@1978
I'm so glad the podcasts have been helpful for you, Jan. Thanks for listening!
When he talks about its the…
When he talks about its the unfaithfuls job to figure out WHY they had the affair because that gives all the healing power to the betrayed spouse.
When does the betrayed know the WHY is complete and this exercise has been completed properly by the betrayed?
That's a valid question. As…
In reply to When he talks about its the… by Herschel
That's a valid question. As a betrayed spouse, I spent a lot of time waiting for the answer to "why?" I could try to guess, but only my unfaithful spouse could truly answer that question. Doing so took him years of effort and therapy. I had to trust in the work he did individually with his therapist rather than try to fill the blank with my own hypothesis. And the thing is, by the time he figured out why he'd been unfaithful, I didn't really need the answer anymore. He lived out a changed heart every day and I was the recipient of his renewed commitment. Five years after his last affair, when he finally fully understood his 'why,' our new marriage was already thriving. I realized I never actually needed to know why he did it, I just needed to know he was going to figure it out so that he could safeguard himself from doing it again.
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