Q&A How Can I Be Safe With my Daughter Contacting my Husbands AP?

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Question: 

After EMS Weekend I felt our marriage was honest and on track.

Here is the problem: We have a daughter (my step daughter) that is 39 years old who has been involved with my husband’s affair partner (AP is 33). My husband and I have been together for 34 years now. The relationship between my daughter and I has been strained at times, but when I found she was sharing information, being friends, and communicating with the AP; I was crushed. My husband and I have had no contact with our daughter in months. I was hoping we could have contacted her together and shared our commitment and goals with her and see where that would lead. We have 2 other adult children who have not done this. I do not feel safe with my daughter being friends with the AP and now feel that my husband has spoken to his daughter without me knowing. Now we are back where we started.

How do I feel safe with this?

How do I trust his relationship with his daughter isn't about the AP? How will I ever trust her again and be part of the family?

I have asked to have a 3 way call to ask if she is still in contact with her, is this unreasonable?

Where is my husband’s accountability in this?

What steps can be taken in this matter? I am losing hope.

Does he not see that this connection with his AP is unacceptable and unsafe?

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