Q&A Is it Normal to Struggle with Liking my Mate?

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Question: 

After 32 years of a happy marriage, my husband had an 8 month affair with a member of the praise and worship team at our church. His AP was 13 years younger than him, and had also been mentored by me for several years. He is remorseful and had ended the affair 1 month prior to discovery. He states that he was also happy in the marriage and had tried to end the affair several times. He also says that he has always loved me, but was out of fellowship with God during his fall, and fell because he was dealing with physical shortcomings common to men of a certain age. D day was 4 months ago, and we have attended EMS weekend already. Initially after D day, we had sexual relations almost daily. I was also angry at the AP. At this time, I have confronted her, and the anger has dissipated. Now, I am sad and am grieving all of my losses. This has made me distant from my husband, as he is the source of my grief. I am disgusted by his behavior during the affair and his lack of compassion toward me during that time. I do not feel I want to remain married to someone who is capable of treating me in such a way. I no longer desire intimacy with him. He is repentant and feels he is no longer the man who would have treated me with such contempt. I believe he is truly sorry, at this point, however, it is a struggle just to like him as a person. Is this normal?

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