Q&A My Husband is Having Urges

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Dear Rick,

My husband and I are currently enrolled in Marriage 911 and are about 75% of the way through the program. Shortly after d-day (I am the betrayed spouse) my husband was diagnosed as being bi-polar and is now on medication. He has been incredibly open to being treated with medication and shows what I feel is a strong desire to work on our marriage. However, last week, he confessed to the fact that he began having urges to get back on-line although he had not followed through. While I appreciate his honesty, it's pretty tough to hear given that I am still reeling from the last affair. I would think that the pain of all that we have gone through, and the hours of recovery work through AR and counseling would be enough to keep him "on the straight and narrow" (for lack of a better word) for longer than 5 months (the time between discovery and today). Do you have any thoughts about this? While I realize that this could be part of the impulsivity that comes with being bi-polar, I'm wondering if this could this be part of another issue that we are not addressing, such as sexual addiction? Or is this a sign for me to "flee the coop" before I'm hurt again? To me, as the hurt spouse, it seems TOO SOON to be going through this again so quickly.



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