Q&A Can I Trust That He Is Being Honest?

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D-day was in late August 2020, followed by him breaking off the 1 year long, category 2, affair a few days later. Three weeks after the breakup, I discovered he had renewed the affair including two meet ups and dozens of very emotional texts over a five day period. My spouse swore he would never contact her again and said he blocked her and deleted her from everything. He also said if it happened again we would divorce. She was a former coworker and lives in the city 30 minutes away where he works 1-2 days a week. Every time he is in that very small city I feel uneasy. He has a tracker on his phone but I know he could easily leave the phone and go meet up with her. I know she is a health student now and could easily show up when he is at the hospital. I think I want him to leave his job. He feels his job is a source or stability for himself and that he doesn’t have the energy to try to find a new job and move. We have family support here and it would be hard to leave them. But I don’t know how much longer I can live here knowing he could strike it up with her again at any time. I don’t have any evidence that he has met with her and he seems truthful, but he lied to me for years about this affair, a previous four month type 4 affair, and porn. The only thing that nags me is that on one of his email accounts she wasn’t blocked when he said she was, and I once saw him writing something on his phone he said was a journal entry but didn’t look like the right format to me. He is in Hope for Healing, we are in Imago marriage counseling, and he uses a TalkSpace counselor. What should I do?



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