Q&A How Do I Handle My Fear around My Ex-Wife's Possible Relationship?

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Question: 

2 ½ years ago my wife confessed to a two month emotional affair that turned physical by the end with an ex-boyfriend from high school. We went through EMS Online, Hope for Healing, and Harboring Hope. We attended couple’s therapy almost weekly and tried for 18 months to reconcile before she ultimately decided she was done with the marriage and wanted out. During those 18 months of trying to work things out she was adamant that the affair partner meant nothing to her. To my knowledge she never tried contacting him again after D-Day and never spoke about him like she was in love or missed him. During the divorce process however it came out that she had plans to reconnect with the affair partner and possibly pick things back up with him. This changed the whole narrative for me. I never wanted a divorce but a big part of me is happy she’s gone. At the same time, my biggest fear and source of pain comes from knowing the affair partner might now become part of my children’s lives if my ex-wife starts dating him. I’m upset because I know one day my kids will know the truth about their mother and how her and this guy broke up their family. I’m also afraid that my kids might end up liking this guy and that would feel like rejection for me. Any advice or encouragement you could offer a person in my position?

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