Q&A How Do I Help My Children Heal after the Separation?

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Question: 

Our divorce was granted on 02/11/19. We are waiting on the final paperwork and signatures. We have two sons. One son is 27 years old and one is 18 years old. My youngest over heard my ex having a conversation with the AP and I over heard him telling his friend that he "thought that his dad is cheating on his mom". I knew about the infidelity at this time and told him that we should speak to our sons. He told me that he would handle it. He lied to him and told him that it was just his sorority sister and he speaks that way to her. Lies continued and I filed for divorce. Their father did not fell that we needed to tell them what was going on between us. I decided that I did not want them devastated; because we were a close family. My youngest said that he was glad I filed and after his father had screamed at him when he was 14 their relationship had never been the same. His father feels that it is my son’s responsibility to call him and stay in touch with him. My son said that he would reach out to him as much as he does. He has abandoned all of us. How do I help us all heal? My youngest has agreed to counseling if I wanted him to go. My eldest son just sounds sad on the phone when I speak to him. Their father does not know that they know the divorce is final.

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