Q&A How Will I Know If It's Safe for My Spouse to Move Back in with Me?

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We are almost six months from initial discovery and 4 weeks since last D-day of my husband’s 26-year double life of our 34-year marriage. He was in a sexual affair of 7 years with the wife of a couple we socialized with and vacationed together with our families and then he broke it off. However, he continued the relationship for 19 years of texting, phoning, emailing with his affair partner‘ and inappropriate texting with co-workers. I am finishing Harboring Hope now and have made incredible progress but I am still thinking about what has happened constantly while I struggle to keep my focus on God. I still have not gone a whole day without crying. We are living separated about 2 hours apart since May 11th and have recently seen each other once or twice a week. He wants to reconcile, has been seeing a therapist, stopped medicating with alcohol, talking with Dr. Haney and is going with me to EMS in October. He has suggested I use a tracking on his phone to know where he is and I have his passwords for his emails to help since we are separated. My biggest fear is that many things he says to me cause triggers and put me into a dark place. Since I have lived alone being retired recently, I fear letting him move back home thinking my emotions will make him cause him to withdraw from me and put him back into shame. He is not used to seeing me cry and probably doesn’t realize that I still suffer from the pain the betrayal caused. Could my emotions actually cause him to regress and how will I know when he is safe to move back home with me?



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