Is it Time to Stop Saving the Marriage and Start Saving Yourself?

Today Samuel discusses a critical step in recovery after an affair...saving yourself.

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More than anything else, this gives the betrayed power...

Very good video. One of the things that happens to the betrayed is the utter feeling of being out of control and not trusting our own decision-making skills anymore. The one thing we, as the betrayed, thought would never happen has now become a reality in our lives. I wondered around in a fog trying to make decisions but ALWAYS second-guessing those decisions. Then, I talked to my sister, who was also dealing with infidelity. She brought to my attention that my husband's behavior had empowered me even more than before his unilateral decision to break the vows that he had made to me. As I contemplated what that meant, I discovered that he had given me license to take care of myself, and my child, by excluding me to begin with. I did not abuse this new-found power but I used it to look within and ascertain what I needed to do for me - without being selfish. I loved him unconditionally but I didn't wait for him to get counseling - I struck out on my own. I did not wait for him to "show me" that he was staying, I removed him from our company. (As time went by and he became safe, I put him back on the company documents.) But this video is exactly what she had shared with me. Even though I grieved tremendously, I moved forward. He is still playing catch-up but I am healing day-by-day and this video helped me to stop and see how far I have come in my recovery. Thanks, Samuel!