Q&A Should I Just Suck It Up?

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Question: 

My husband revealed in August that he had an affair this year and one in 2008. Said he knew current AP for 5 years but didn't get deeply involved until this year but not other details. He says it's over but is unwilling to be fully transparent because he says I just will use it against him. In November, he rented an apartment and has moved out thru end of month because he said things are just too toxic with us. Won't tell me where he lives...sent me a pic of the inside of the apt, but I have a pretty good feeling he is either with her part time or still has contact with affair partner even though he says he doesn't. He does not want to move back in or be transparent, but wants us to all celebrate holidays together. He says I need to rise above and pretend everything is okay. And if we have a nice holiday he may reconsider getting together. I wouldn't let him home at Thanksgiving and he said he doesn't want to repeat that, but is giving me no more transparency and is not willing to move back home. He says I am using the kids as leverage and punishment, I feel like he needs to hit rock bottom. My daughter just got engaged and I don't want our separation to take center stage with huge extended family and take away from the celebration of her good news. Should I just suck it up and have included and fake everything is okay?

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