Q&A Is There Hope for Our Marriage?

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Question: 

Betrayal has spanned over 18 years for my husband and I. The first-3/2001 we were not saved and not married-he had sex over weeks at a time with my best friend. This came out right away and we became believers in Christ through this suffering. Married 12/2001. Porn throughout the marriage. 6/2008 we visited his brother in CA and he kissed his wife over a period of a few hours. That came out 6-9 months later. We live in NY so there was no chance of them continuing their romantic connection. He began a sex addiction group at our church with two other men. Then in 9/09 he had oral sex both ways with a 19 year old customer (he was 34) and he was a service technician in people’s homes. He also tried to kiss my 17 year old cousin (she rejected him). After this he was diagnosed with several things and very willing to be on medication. He still led the sex addiction group at church. Then in 1/2017 he had a full blown affair with a female coworker. This came out in 5/2017 then relapsed in 8/2017. My question is this-after 18 years and many many trials and error. Counseling since 2001 as well. Where is the hope in our reconciliation? I am in harboring hope and he is in hope for healing. He is always very willing to get help and that will last for a while but there is an obvious pattern here that gets worse over time. I feel as if it would be logical to end the marriage. But he continues to try. This last one he fell in love with her. That was new to him and me. He knows now that it wasn’t live but he felt it then. He is very gullible and will fall in love again if his boundaries are not kept sky high at all times. Where is my hope in reconciliation? I just don’t see it. I see hope in my own recovery and in Christ of course. But like your help in seeing any new hope for us together now. He has seen a sex addiction specialist since 7/2017. He is in SLAA as well.

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90 day challenge not accepted.

Much like this situation ours is very similar. Married almost 19 years together 5 before that. I do believe addicts are the hardest people to live with.

He doesn't even want to do the men's study he purchased let alone the 90 day challenge. Just does what it takes to get by. Nothing new there. He did take the initiative to get baptized. I don't think it was a show. But his lack of doing whatever it takes to being safe for us. His lack of effort to getting better is discouraging to say the least.

90 day challenge not accepted.

Much like this situation ours is very similar. Married almost 19 years together 5 before that. I do believe addicts are the hardest people to live with.

He doesn't even want to do the men's study he purchased let alone the 90 day challenge. Just does what it takes to get by. Nothing new there. He did take the initiative to get baptized. I don't think it was a show. But his lack of doing whatever it takes to being safe for us. His lack of effort to getting better is discouraging to say the least.

90 day challenge not accepted.

Much like this situation ours is very similar. Married almost 19 years together 5 before that. I do believe addicts are the hardest people to live with.

He doesn't even want to do the men's study he purchased let alone the 90 day challenge. Just does what it takes to get by. Nothing new there. He did take the initiative to get baptized. I don't think it was a show. But his lack of doing whatever it takes to being safe for us. His lack of effort to getting better is discouraging to say the least.