Q&A What Is a Validation Addiction?

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My husband and I are several months into recovery from his affair and a number of other sexual and non-sexual transgressions that occurred over the course of our 22-year marriage. We are making steady progress on recovery – we just finished EMSO, are doing MFL and are each working with a therapist, he’s going to SLAA meetings. As we continue to process it all, our understanding of what led to the affair is evolving. He is discovering and naming a number of the emotional vulnerabilities underneath his behaviors. Initially I thought he might be a sex or love addict, but the behaviors don’t really line up with either of those. From how he explains what he's really seeking in these encounters, the thing that seems the closest is validation addiction. Could you explain or describe what this is about? How can it lead to affairs and suggest some non-religious resources that would help us learn more about it and how to address it? There doesn’t seem to be much out there.



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