Q&A Am I Shaming My Husband When I Bring up His past Behaviors?

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Question: 

We have recently moved back in together after being separated for 2 years. My husband says I am shaming him if I bring anything up about his affair. Discovery was in person February 2017. Then with a different woman, in person April 2017. Then I found out in April of this year, 2018, that he called them both again. He said it was for closure. He keeps saying, “It’s been 2 years already”, but I feel like even the phone calls and texts 8 months ago is fresh betrayal. We are coming to EMS in a couple of weeks. We are fine if we don’t discuss anything that makes him feel bad. He will be the first to tell you I’m careful, soft spoken, and kind when I have needed to talk about anything difficult. When he gets mad and defensive I feel like I just can’t take one more second of this hurtful mess. It all ends up in an argument and more hurt to try and get over. Kind of anxious over how we will be able to discuss anything during our EMS.

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