Q&A Am I Wrong for Wanting to Keep Contact with People I Feel Safe Around?

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I’ve had several types of infidelity throughout my thirteen year marriage. Our D-Day was 2 1/2 years ago. We’ve been doing recovery non-stop for the last 2 years and continuing. It hasn’t been a smooth and easy road so far but I’ve come a long way with being honest about the hurt I’ve brought to my wife and taking full responsibility. I have a very close circle of family and friends. They all knew about my infidelity. Some of them encouraged me by having affairs themselves while others decided to voice their disappointments when the opportunity presented itself and moved on. I’ve decided to no longer hang out with the friends that had affairs along with me. I mentioned to my wife that I would like to keep a relationship with the few friends that were faithful to their partners. We’ve discussed boundaries and how to make it work but every time I bring up seeing the friends we feel safe about, it becomes a huge step backwards. I get told that I’m putting them first, I don’t understand the level of hurt I caused, I’m selfish… I feel like my wife is putting the trust and blame on these people and not me. I tell her that they are not the reason I did all these hurtful, disgusting things and it only makes it worse. I have no other way of showing her that I am not who I was. Am I wrong for wanting to spend time with childhood friends I feel safe with?



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