Q&A As a Betrayed Spouse, How Do I Work through My Humiliation?

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Question: 

I am the betrayed spouse and I am 15 months from the first D-Day and 8 months from the last. There were 6 in total. We have been married 29 years with 2 grown kids. My wife had a 1 year affair that was emotional then physical on multiple business trips with a coworker that was also a friend. My wife and I have been through EMS Online, I've taken Harboring Hope, and my wife has taken Hope for Healing. In all of the material, it is explained that even the betrayed spouses have shame that we need to work on in order to heal. I believe strongly that instead of shame, it is a deep humiliation from the affair that I feel. In all of the material that I have been through, I have not seen any that adequately addresses how to deal with the humiliation that the betrayed spouses feel every day. I am stuck with forgiveness and feel like humiliation is part of my issue here as well. Please help us betrayed spouses with how to work on our humiliation.

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