Q&A Can Our Sex Life Trigger Relapse for My Sex Addicted Partner?

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We are 15 months past D-day, and we feel closer than ever, thanks to the EMSO program and a lot of personal work. But I'm starting to feel that the "honeymoon" part of recovery is over--and sex is getting weird. Our second D-day was 10 months ago, when I found a computer file of illegal porn...prison material. My husband finally has a good addiction therapist and support group, but now he is often depressed and needy. And when we have sex now, he's obsessed with making it super fantastic for both of us. He then talks about it for days. He also tells me he loves me 10-15 times a day with tears in his eyes. What's happening here? It feels icky. Is he fantasizing about the illegal porn when we have sex? If so, is that unhealthy for him? Will it lead him to a porn relapse? I don't try to control or pry into his recovery. I go to S-Anon meetings, but haven't found a sponsor yet for personal questions. Thanks for your thoughts and your work to help all of us!



RL_Media Type: 

Very helpful

Two helpful hints about this video was “good enough “ and to look into each other’s eyes. This makes so much sense to me and I expect it will really help to create a more cohesive relationship for us in the bedroom.

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