Q&A Can We Find a Way for Me to Feel Safe and My Mate Keep the Dream Job?

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Question: 

Hi Rick, Last D-day was 7 months ago. My husband had a 19 month physical/emotional affair with an 18 year old, when he was 34, that played on the worship team with him at church. He quit his worship leader position during the affair in order to resume coaching high school girls basketball, something he has done for 12 years now. During the time that he was coaching, he would cancel practice, without my knowledge, and would meet up with his AP. He also took her to a couple of his games that were out of town. These things happened after I had already discovered the affair, and he had told me it was over. He has now been in recovery for 7 months and wants to continue coaching this year. I do not want him to coach. It makes me feel really unsafe to have him working so closely with people of the opposite sex. His players are only slightly younger than his AP, and his assistant coach is a younger, attractive female. Also, it's an extra 20-25 hours of work on top of his current full-time teaching job. This is only his second year as the head coach, and he feels that if he quits now, he won't be able to fulfill his dream of building his own program. He has told me several different things that he will do to make me feel safe while he's coaching, but I still feel the same way about the situation. Thoughts?

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