Here's a question about managing anger. From reading chapter 4, I know that anger is a secondary emotion. I am the wife of a sex addict in recovery who had numerous affairs as well as fantasies about other real women he worked with. I know that at times, I'm really in touch with my feelings of inferiority and disrespect, comparing myself to them, wondering why he would choose those women to either have affairs with and not spend time with me or his children. When I tell my husband that I don't understand how he could do these things, how he chose them over me, he tells me he is sorry, but he refuses to answer the question or help me in any way. What was so appealing about them, that he decided to disrespect our marriage? This lack of caring or answering me frustrates me and causes me to be angry and flood. I do not flood from the primary emotion--inferiority, but when I get angry because he ignores my primary feelings, the anger starts.