Rick, Regarding the “Mystery of Change” article, could my wife be in the "neutral" stage or just "gone"? 23yrs married, 15 months from initial D-day of her online emotional affair, followed by "just friends" connections via Facebook with old classmates and exes (all single/divorced), 5 months since discovery of continued “occasional” contact with AP. Her position since D-day had been one of ambivalence about leaving or staying, while treating me with coldness and contempt, and she’s shut out our Christian family and friends for the companionship and counsel of her unsaved family and younger single and divorced women – saying she needs to do whatever makes her happy. She left in June, leaving me and our sons (ages 10 and 12), rather than cut contact with AP/others and seek counseling. She now claims the affair and other contact is over - "I don't have feelings for ANYBODY right now. I just need time to figure out what I want and I’m not really thinking about the future right now.” She blames me for her shutting down on our marriage because I didn’t cherish her or get her out of a bad work situation 2 years ago and for not being a “helpmate” in several areas. She says she’s resisting God, because she knows He would want her to submit to our marriage and she doesn’t want to do that right now! I don’t want a divorce, but do I hold on a little longer, or is it time to pull the plug?