Q&A Have You Worked With Couples Where the Betrayal Was Essentially An Imagined Affair?

About a year ago, I discovered that my wife had spent roughly three years in an intense emotional obsession with another married man. It was never physical and largely existed in her own mind, but she built a fantasy relationship around him and emotionally invested herself in a life with him. It felt like an imagined affair. What has been most traumatic is what I learned afterward. She admitted that throughout much of those years she felt ongoing disgust toward me, believed marrying me had been a mistake, frequently hoped I would die, often hoped I would die on my drive home from work, wished storms would kill me, and at one point even encouraged me to commit suicide. I also discovered this wasn't entirely isolated—there had been other unhealthy emotional attachments to men during our marriage. The trauma nearly destroyed me. We lost most of our close community, and I experienced severe depression and suicidal ideation. Counseling and antidepressants have helped me regain stability. Since discovery, we've both been in individual counseling and marriage counseling. She has taken responsibility, cut off all contact, recognizes the problems were within her rather than our marriage, and I genuinely see meaningful growth. Have you worked with couples where the betrayal was essentially an imagined affair? And have you seen limerence or affair fog produce such profound resentment that the unfaithful spouse repeatedly wished their spouse would die? If so, what helped those couples heal?