Q&A How Can I Face the Triggers I Receive from His Workplace Reality?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


I am 6 months post D-day and my biggest struggle is my husband’s work, where his AP also still works. He is being safe for me, has cut off all contact, and has put in measures for me to feel secure that he is not continuing risky behavior. My triggers are not worrying that he is with her but constant reminders of what happened. They had encounters at work and it triggers me when he goes there. I would struggle with these triggers and reminders if he had to go to the hotel or her house, but it is hurtful to think of him going to work because of the same reasons. Other aspects of his job were integral to his affair and these are also triggers/reminders for me. 

I have been doing EMDR and other therapy regularly, which has helped tremendously with my intrusive thoughts, triggers, and other reminders. This is the one reminder that I can't seem to be able to deflect and it's a big one. I realize the importance of my husband’s career but I'm not sure I can get past this. I haven't wanted to ask him to leave his job because it is in academia and if he was able to get another position, it could take up to a year or he could potentially lose his program. Do you have any advice or suggestions for me to better deal with this situation?



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas