Q&A How Can My Husband Protect Himself from Grooming Behaviors?

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Question: 

We completed an EMS Weekend 6 months ago and we are currently in Married for Life. I recently took a business trip with my husband and I was extremely triggered. What triggered me is that I know my husband has grooming habits and has acted out in times past. We have had great progress since EMSW and in MFL. I mentioned how uncomfortable I felt when he introduced me to female colleagues. They told me how much they love him and what a great guy he is. Now he’s definitely a likable guy, but it’s the grooming habits with being likable that trouble me. His response was, “I can’t help if they love me, but it’s not because I’m grooming them.” While he doesn’t have control over what they say about him, I felt his lack of empathy for me hearing that is what triggers and troubles me. I’ve had to hear this from women on EVERY JOB he’s worked. Do I just need to accept that my husband is a groomer, even if he does it unintentionally? What is a safe, appropriate, response I should look for from him to know he is aware of his grooming habits and when he’s being groomed? Or is this more of my problem to deal with? If so, how do I proceed because while I’m thankful he took me on the trip and reminded me he was being safe for us during meetings, the women were a huge trigger because his infidelities always involved someone at work.

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