Q&A How Can We Move past This Slump in Recovery?

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Question: 

My husband and I are 17 months from D-Day 1 and 8 months from D-Day 2. Our recovery has been difficult, to say the least. He is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober since D-Day 2, when I left him for 3 days. The affair revealed so many cracks in our relationship, cracks we weren't even aware of until now. We have a few more weeks of EMSO to go and have benefited greatly from your wonderful course. The thing is, my husband has stifled all talk of the affair unless we are on our group conference call or marriage therapy. I'm getting better, I'm healing slowly but surely, I really am. But I was one messed up sister before we found you. I was traumatized by his betrayal and acted out often. We have a marriage therapist, but in 15 months he hasn't been much help to me. But EMSO has. And prayer. God is good. All of my attempts to talk about anything affair related now winds up in an argument. I think he does that on purpose as a distraction. I want to continue to heal and he's done everything I've asked: AA, EMSO, counseling, alcohol therapy. I hope he hasn't had anymore contact with the AP. I don't know about that one, though, as he hasn't touched me sexually in 11 months. I asked about that, he got angry. He says he wants our 30 year marriage to work, but to me he seems as though he thinks it might eventually end anyway, so he's not giving it his all. I'm now starting to feel that deep down inside, maybe I think that too. I'm tired and weary. Recovery chugs along. Please give me some words of wisdom as only you can, Rick.

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