Q&A How Do I Communicate the Importance of My Spouse's Recovery?

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Dear Rick, My husband and I are over two years from D-Day. Until a month ago he continued contact with his AP, but nothing physically since December 2014. In the last month he stopped all communication. We attended EMS weekend, and are involved in our Aftercare program. We separated for four months and I moved back home in June. We’re both in therapy. He has therapy remotely once a month where it used to be every two weeks. I am not sure why that changed. Otherwise, he never reads AR blogs or looks at the videos. He gives me a “weather report” each day, but often I have to ask. We are getting along great, and rediscovering each other and our love, but I fear he will relapse. I think if he ran into his AP or had any contact with her at all it may create a struggle for him. I still struggle with triggers, and pain of the two years I stayed while the affair continued. He never asks me about my feelings. He only addresses it if I bring it up. Last week he forgot his therapy session. When I asked about it his response was “I can take care of myself”. My question: How can I communicate effectively with my husband about getting more support, being clear that his recovery is important to me, as is my own? I don’t think I could handle a relapse at this point, and often fear it.



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