Q&A How Do I Get over Never Knowing When the Affair Started?

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My husband had a casual sex affair with a coworker in another state. It started as a business friendship with flirting. Their first time was drunken sex when she invited him to her room on an overseas business trip and from then on they continued to have no strings attached sex about 1-4 times a year. She was in a lesbian relationship but chose powerful married men. My husband didn't care as long as he got to keep having sex. I worried since 2012 when I stumbled across a jewelry receipt and he lied that it was his one-sided infatuation. I think the sex started in 2010, maybe earlier and the jewelry was to keep her interested. In July of 2018 I pushed for the truth. 9 D-Days later I know almost everything but he can't remember when it started, only the country. Also prior to her and overlapping with her he used escorts 6 or 7 times but doesn't remember the year that started either. I completed Harboring Hope, he's done individual counseling, we're finishing up EMS Online, and he's a totally different man now; we're healing. But this is such a part of my life and I wish I knew when it all began, because for me the story is incomplete. He just can't remember. How do I make peace with never knowing?



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