Q&A How do I Manage my Anger and Find Comfort From my Spouse?

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Five weeks ago I found out that my husband of 18 years who is the father of my 3 children has had several non-emotional sexual encounters over the past 10 years. I was aware of a previous issue with pornography but believed that he had stopped the habit. I now know that although he tried to stop several times, he never did. One of his sexual affair partners also became a sort of live porn object for him through sexting. On the day of disclosure I found out that he was sexually abused as an adolescent for several years by an older male relative, something which he had never told anyone. Since disclosure we are putting God first in our marriage, are in counseling, and also taking your online course. My husband says he feels better than he has ever felt in his life because he is walking in truth. We are sharing a level of intimacy that we have never shared and I see him as a new person. My struggle is the fact that this "new husband" is the happiest he's ever been and while I am so thankful for this closeness that we now have and the change that I see, I am also left with hurt, pain, resentment, and anger that the old husband" caused. I am also very angry with the women and want them to know that they were used and never cared about. How can I work through this anger and is this normal to separate the "2 husbands"? And is it ok for me to look to the "new husband" for comfort for the pain caused by the "old husband"? I'm so confused!



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