Q&A How Do You Address Your Wounds While at the Same Time Feeling Remorse for Your Mate?

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Question: 

We are having great progress. EMS weekend almost a year ago, MFL week 41. We are both unfaithful and betrayed. The problem is our hurts from bumping against each other. I got triggered late one night and that wasn’t dealt with because of timing. The very next day, I triggered my mate and now I feel I’m being punished. I’d like to hope that my mate isn’t turning things on me to avoid discussing my trigger. How or when is the appropriate timing to address your wounds when you’re feeling remorseful for how your mate feels? I don’t like feeling I have to pay a hefty fine when I make a mistake of a seemingly unimportant decision. I see the wrong in what I did, but I’m still hurting. We’ve created a big mess.

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