Q&A How I Can Move Forward and Get past the Feeling That I Don’t Have the Full Story?

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There were several discoveries and disclosures of texting with the affair partner over about 8 months after the initial disclosure, but I believed there’d been no contact in 2020 until I discovered otherwise in December. About 4 months after our first D-Day he admitted that he had met her once after disclosure. During Week 2 I asked him to tell me the dates of all the times he was with her after the initial disclosure in 2019. He gave me dates for 2020, but said there were none in 2019, though he had told me otherwise at the time. He says that he’s sure I’m right, but he just doesn’t remember. He’s assured me that he’s not trying to hold anything back, but doesn’t know how to figure it out and doesn’t understand why it’s so important to me. I told him the reason is that it makes me wonder how many more times he doesn’t remember. He also has been so good at lying to me that I don’t know if I can believe this even though I can not think of any reason he wouldn’t want to tell me. Do you think it’s possible for him to forget something that seems so important to me? Do you have any advice on how I can move forward and get past the feeling that I don’t have the full story?



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