Q&A How Will I Ever Move past This and Desire a Connection Again?

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Question: 

My spouse and I have been married for 24 years. Year 10 he began to abuse alcohol. Year 12, he began a lot of business travel. Years 13-20 he spent in adultery. 2 1/2 years were spent in a serious, emotional/sexual relationship, 1 year in a purely sexual relationship with a co-worker, and 3 1/2 years of one night stands. Through it all he "loved" me, feigned devotion to me, and we seemingly had a very loving and happy marriage. Year 23 he disclosed his adultery. In choosing his life of adultery, and also choosing for me a life of unwittingly loving an adulterous husband, he robbed me of my greatest right, my freedom to live the life that I choose. What a seriously, grievous offense. Even the thought of close friendship with him is completely unreasonable, much less to look at the man as a husband that now will inevitably uphold the vows he so long ago secretly forsook. How will I move past this severely, disturbing realization and ever again desire close connection with him?

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