Q&A I Feel Unloved, He Feels Unappreciated, How Can We Heal?

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Question: 

My husband doesn’t want a divorce. I don’t want a divorce either, but I feel that my husband has no fear of losing me, and it makes me feel as if I have to show him, that I have enough courage and dignity to leave him. He has behaved very well since I discovered his infidelity, but he has dragged out the process of healing, he has barely taken any initiatives, and only just followed my lead - very slowly. We are now 2.5 years after the final D-Day (the day I found the last piece of new evidence that he reluctantly admitted to - it took me 5 months to find the "whole" truth). I feel unloved, and I don’t trust him. I cry a lot - especially when he travels – and I am never really happy anymore. I feel I/we did a lot of work to get through this, but I am not ready to commit to a marriage with him, when I feel so unimportant to him. He works a lot - owns his own company - and I always have to be very understanding of this being his first priority. He feels that I do not appreciate all that he does. I feel so stuck, and don’t know how to get out of it. My husband has very little time to commit to the healing process.

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